Quaranscream—June 5, 2020

I’ve already spoken to my husband about his texts, but maybe he wasn’t listening, because today I got another one. “Can you help Lily with her French & Spanish, she was scared to ask you.” It’s 3:40 on a Friday and I’m struggling to finish my writing work. There are a few problems with his text. First, he was off work for most of the day, therefore the one in charge of supervising the 3 assignments we agreed she’d complete daily. Second, the message is judgmental, inflammatory, and inaccurate. My child is afraid to ask me about her French and Spanish homework? I ask her if this is true. She says no. His behavior around homework and his criticism about how I help or don’t help her with homework just makes her experience of doing homework in a pandemic more stressful for her. Her parents shouldn’t be arguing about her homework.

His criticism is extra enraging, because I haven’t had a full-time job since I became a parent. I am here for the homework, and everything else at home. He should be grateful I take care of everything here. It’s an incredibly boring second job. Doesn’t he know I’d prefer to work at a nice job outside the home, especially when I’ve been stuck at home exclusively since March 12?

I call him at work to discuss his text. I ask him why only 1 of her 3 daily assignments were completed. I’m just trying to understand. He says it’s because she had online class. I tell him she only had a 9-9:20 and a 10:15. He blows up and hangs up on me. Do other people’s husbands hang up on them? He’s so rude. She starts to work on her French and falls asleep. The day is hot and humid and sunny. I get some peace with him gone and her asleep. I enjoy the quiet.

Aside from spending quiet time alone (and I doubt I’ll do much of that, because I have no where to go because of the pandemic), I don’t feel I have much to look forward to this weekend. Vinh didn’t even say hello when he came in from work tonight. I know he’s probably disgruntled that he has only DJ’d one night in months. But if he had a mindfulness practice or a few good friends he wouldn’t be in a bad mood so often at home, especially around anything involving homework. Homework is not even a topic worth getting upset about during a pandemic.